Saying farewell

My main role as a civil celebrant is as a wedding celebrant. However, just recently I conducted a funeral service for the father of a dear friend of mine. I think that the process of formulating the ceremony is made easier when you have a pre-existing relationship with the family although in a way it is harder as you are emotionally attached as well. Either way, it is a huge honour to be the one chosen to assist the family in remembering their loved one.

The Measure of a Man: Author Unknown.

Not - How did he die? But - how did he live?

Not - What did he gain? But - what did he give?

These are the things that measure the worth,

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?

And - How did he play his God-given part?

Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?

But - Had he befriended those really in need?

Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?

But - How many were sorry when he passed away?

These are the things that measure the worth


Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Aasha and Brad and Mr Bob Marley.

Aasha and Brad were married last weekend, and while I was waiting for everyone to arrive, I took these photos. It was so calm and peaceful at Kirks Reservoir, very little noise, beautiful gardens, and I reflected on how lucky I really am to be a Celebrant. I am lucky because I get to meet and spend time with people like Aasha and Brad, and their families. Gosh I had fun with these guys, they were all so welcoming and kind, and I was honoured to write and conduct their wedding ceremony. Their little daughter was snug in her Daddy's arms during the ceremony, and that was just such a beautiful sight to behold. Congratulations to all three of you, it was just a great day x

This was the reading they chose, written by Bob Marley.

"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

The Wine Box Ritual

I love this little ritual, which can be incorporated into your wedding ceremony. It is very simple really, but its meaning is so romantic, and your guests will enjoy witnessing such a personal, loving moment within your wedding ceremony.

You will need:

•   A wooden wine box (sometimes the groom can make it which makes it even more personal)

•   a bottle of your favorite wine

•   2 wine glasses

•   two love letters sealed in separate envelopes

•   a small hammer and some nails, or a padlock 

What you do:

In the weeks before the wedding, you each write a love letter to one another, expressing your thoughts about why you love your partner, You then both place your letter in a sealed envelope. Do not cheat and read what the other has written.

The unsealed box (with the wine, glasses and letter inside it) is placed in a prominent place during your ceremony. The celebrant will describe the ceremony and it’s meaning and then both the bride and groom will seal the box, with the plan for the wine box to be opened on the 1st or 5th wedding anniversary.

You can open the box earlier, if there happens to be bumpy difficult time during your marriage. Before you give up or leave one another or make any other serious decisions, open the wine box, each go to separate rooms, read your letter, and then come back together to talk, share the wine and reflect why you married one another. The sincere hope is that there will never be a need to have to open the box except on your anniversary!

The romantic words you wrote, the reminder of your love on that day, the reasons about why you chose to marry this person: this will help to put your current feelings (hopefully) in perspective and open the chance for your each to talk your problems through.

This is the perfect, yet simple, ritual to remind you of your wedding day and your intention on that day to  always love and respect each other during all times of your lives, during the good, and especially the not-so-good.