One of My Favourite Wedding Readings.

I love this piece of writing. It was written by Madeleine L'Engle, taken from her book The Irrational Season. Marriage is a big risk, committing yourself to the same person forever. Forever! Imagine that? But so well worth all the hard work, the tears, the joys and the simplicity of feeling safe within the cocoon of love that the married couple can create.

"But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected."

"Quirky" Bridesmaids Photos.

You have probably seen these photos doing the rounds of the internet recently, it's a new trend apparently, so I thought they were too interesting not to share and discuss. 

I think that I am becoming a PRUDE. I think that once I may have thought this was a great thing to do (I hope not) but now I'm not convinced that I would want these as my wedding photos. I mean, where would I display them? Did all the girls give their full consent or did they feel pressured? I hope this isn't a trend now, but what would I know? What do you all think?

The Real Bottom Line.

Really can't believe my good fortune

This tale I'll do my best to shorten

The real bottom line

Was her yummy behind

It definitely relieved my damn boredom

© Jack Ellison 2013

Source: http://jezebel.com/bridesmaids-flashing-ass-is-the-hot-new-wedding-photo-t-1596600362

The Lou Quinn Ovarian Cancer Fund.

On May 1st 2013 one of my best friends was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She died on May 13th 2013. Her name is Lou Quinn, and needless to say her death was gutting to her family and to her friends. It was so quick, so unexpected and so unknown.

The signs and symptoms of ovarian cancer are so vague, so please be vigilant. This list is sourced from The Australian Cancer Council:

Symptoms that may indicate ovarian cancer are vague and may include one or more of the following:

• abdominal bloating or a feeling of fullness.
• loss of appetite.
• unexplained weight gain.
• constipation.
• heartburn.
• back, abdominal or pelvic pain.
• frequent urination.
• fatigue.

Following her passing her partner, Terry and her Mum, Maggie, established the "Lou Quinn Ovarian Cancer Fund", which over this past year has raised more than $21,000.00 for The Royal Women's Hospital's research into ovarian cancer. This is an amazing achievement.

Please, if you have a bit of spare cash, donate to Lou's fund here. All funds are needed so desperately for ongoing research.

Terry is also on a huge fundraising ride around America currently, he is determined to raise awareness of this terrible disease. You can follow his ride via his blog, it is a terrific read, with great photos to enjoy as well.

Source: http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/early-detection/early-detection-factsheets/ovarian-cancer.html

Best Marriage Advice?

A wedding is a fabulous thing. It's your big day, there is a dress, a suit, lovely rings, a huge cake, great hair, big party, and, of course, a fabulous celebrant to make sure that your marriage is valid. And then what? What is a marriage? How on earth do you manage to love this person for the rest of your life, through all the inevitable ups and downs? I had a bit of a trawl to look at the answer.....enjoy, and maybe, add your own advice.

"After a disillusioned first couple of years of marriage, my husband and I went to a therapist who told us: Marriage should not be so much about looking at each other but looking in the same direction together. I believe the message from this is to remember the positive things that brought you together and then to concentrate on positive goals to achieve as a couple. My observation is that all the cute, unique things that made your spouse wonderful in the beginning are going to be the things that grate on your nerves later. Try to focus on the positive, if you look for negative qualities in someone you are sure to find them" 

- Deb V

"Communicate, respect for self and each other, trust, faith, laugh together not at each other, don’t go to bed angry or hurt, remember your vows, don’t ask what you are not ready and willing to accept and let go and remember that often time we don’t know we’re making a mistake unless we are told so speak up without being rude and hurtful."

~ Antoinette 34

"Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder."

- Dr Phil

"There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing."

- Dr Phil

"Learn how to agree to disagree. No two people agree on everything, and that's okay, but it's important to be okay with each other's differences."
- Lee Bowera, LP, PhD

"Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin. Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!"
- Lori Lowe, MA

Sources:

1. http://marriage.about.com/od/advice/a/bestadvice.htm

2. http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/53

3. http://www.yourtango.com/201170768/50-best-marriage-tips-ever

What Are the Origins of the Wedding Ring?

The Ancient Egyptians

Obviously the exact beginning of the use of the wedding ring is unknown, many historians believe that the wedding ring tradition originated in Ancient Egypt. There have been archeological discoveries, some dating back well over 3,000 years ago, leading to this hypothesis.

Drawings on artifacts, such as papyrus scrolls, demonstrate a culture in which the marital couple exchanged rings made from hemp and reeds. The associated hieroglyphics explained how the Ancient Egyptian society acknowledged the ring, the circle, as a symbol of unending love between the bride and groom.

The Egyptians also wore their wedding rings on what we now call the “ring finger”, on the left hand. They believed that this finger contained a special vein, which was directly connected to the heart. The belief was embraced by other cultures, and many centuries later, it was known by the Latin term “vena amoris” or the “vein of love”.

The Ancient Romans

In Ancient Rome, marriages were recognised in different forms, and these marriages were categorised by the specific social class. They were Usus, Coemptio, and Confarreatio.

Usus was the informal marriage, reserved for the lowest class. It could be compared to today's defacto relationships.

Coemptio was the marriage that required that the bride be purchased from her family. Historians believe this “purchase” was symbolic (not really bought) but that the  fathers were paid for the marriage of their daughters.  

Confarreatio was reserved only for the elite class, and this was the only true legal form of marriage in Ancient Roman times. The groom, giving a wedding ring to the bride, confirmed this marriage. The majority of these wedding rings were made of iron, which then led to the lovely tradition of modern metal wedding rings. However, unlike the Egyptians' rings as symbols of unending love, historians have determined that the Romans viewed these wedding rings as symbols of ownership, in that the wife now belonged to the husband.


Source: http://www.jtv.com/library/wedding-ring-history.html

The Tradition of the Bridesmaid's Dress.

Why do we have bridesmaids, and why do we dress them in the manner that we do?

The earliest known tradition involving what the bridesmaids wore shows us that the bridesmaids wore exactly the same as the bride. The idea behind this was to protect the bride: that by standing the bride next to the lookalikes, any malicious ghosts or spirits at the wedding could not focus on the bride and ruin her wedded life.

That old custom eventually fell away in Victorian times (thank goodness) to dressing the bridesmaids in white dresses but with short veils, in contrast with the bride's ornate veil and wedding dress train.

Finally, when commercial dyes became more easily affordable and accessible, we saw our first contrasting bridesmaids dresses make their appearance in the bridal party. Bridesmaid dresses were then seen in colours like bright green, fuchsia, gold, tangerine. Those dresses all then ensured that the bride would be the best-looking girl in the church.

But surely, no bride would ever consciously do that right??  

A Wedding at the Bellinzona Grange.

Yesterday Joh and Nick were married, with their eldest bestest boy escorting Joh down the aisle and their youngest bestest boy sitting contentedly in his grandmother's arms. It is a beautiful setting at The Bellinzona Grange, and this time of year the garden is a rash of autumnal tones. It was a joyful day, with a focus on the children, and not just their own. I must say, I had fun with these guys, the bridal party were so warm and welcoming to me, and this is what makes weddings so great: the people I get to meet.